Maybe I was naïve, but I was surprised to find that most "education" available seemed to be teaching women and couples to be fearful and to expect the worst. I carefully stayed away from those types of resources, because I didn't want all the worst-case scenarios to scare me and taint my expectations of a pleasant, peaceful birth. After all, I reasoned, my body had been engineered by Mother Nature over millions of years for one specific purpose--to give birth! We lived in Seattle and had a midwife. As we began exploring options, my midwife suggested we might be interested in a new method she'd learned about that used hypnosis techniques. (When I'd asked about Lamaze, my midwife said, “You can try it, but frankly, in all my years as a midwife, I've never seen a woman forget to breathe!”) Another client of hers had used HypnoBirthing® and had a very successful, short birth. This was significant, because this woman had had a lot of fear due to previous traumatic births, plus she was now 40.

I had done creative visualizations before and was open to hypnosis, so my husband and I signed up.

Am I really in hypnosis?

I appreciated our instructor's positive, life-affirming attitude about childbirth and her belief that my husband and I had the ability--and the right--to bring a child into the world naturally. Finally, I had an ally who believed the same way we did. She used hypnosis to teach relaxation and pain management techniques, which would be important during labor, and to plant positive, empowering beliefs about what we would experience during childbirth.

During our five evening sessions, I remember having doubt that I was going into hypnosis at all; I felt relaxed, and I enjoyed the experience, but my mind was definitely alert and would wander off sometimes. At times, I wondered if I was really getting anything out of our sessions, but I kept going and at home I listened to my tapes with positive affirmations regularly.

I later learned that the experience and doubts I had while I was in hypnosis are normal. Fortunately, those doubts don't actually affect the positive impact that the hypnosis is having! Many people have misconceptions about hypnosis because of the way it is often portrayed in movies. Hypnosis is actually a focused alert state. We don't lose consciousness, like I'd presumed. We simply become focused inwardly, which gives us direct access to the sub-conscious mind. When we're in hypnosis, it actually feels familiar to us, because we go into states that are very similar every day--like when we're driving long distances, when we're waking up and going to sleep, or when we're engrossed in a beautiful piece of music or a book.

One night late in my pregnancy I had a dream that it was Thanksgiving Day and my husband and I were in a restaurant for dinner. (This was odd to me even in the dream, since I've never eaten out on Thanksgiving.) Suddenly, in the dream, I went into labor, and my husband and I rushed to our car. Our little boy was born there in the car in the parking lot. In reality, it was almost this quick. I realized later it had been a premonition of things that would happen.

Going deeply within

Finally, in late November, I went into labor. It was 11 pm. I was in bed when I felt a warm gush down my legs that, for a moment, made me fear I'd somehow wet the bed. The next moment, it dawned on me that we were going to, at last, have our baby. I got out of bed and ran a bath of warm water to clean up and relax before we started our journey. I had learned that the first stage of labor is a time to enjoy with walks and other normal activities. I hopped in the bath tub, but surprised even my bath-loving self, when I hopped back out right away. Almost immediately, the surges (hypnobirthing language for "contractions") started coming quickly and so intensely that I could not talk through them. Instinctively, my body knew that the bath at home was not where I needed to be.

I was very calm and relaxed, but I needed concentration and quiet to get through the peaks. We called our midwife at midnight, and she agreed it was time to go to the hospital--thankfully, we were only a few blocks away. By 1 am we were checked into our room, and I laid on my side as my little baby moved down, down, down. I hardly remember anything about the room or what was said and done. My whole experience was inner. I remember moaning at a certain point, and my midwife gently and kindly encouraged me to moan if I wanted to, because it would help. It really did seem to help--like I was birthing through sound waves.

I focused on letting go and talking to my baby silently. I told him we were doing this together and that I trusted him and that I knew he was doing a great job.

I felt great joy in being the instrument of a miracle, and I knew I was surrounded by love. My husband held my hand and stayed by my side (at my request) the whole time. My midwife negotiated with the hospital staff and tended to all the practical matters. She was a grounding influence for us and the whole room, because of her complete confidence that our process was unfolding perfectly.

Overall, I felt a tremendous Trust in the process that seemed to come out of nowhere. Whenever a thought of anxiety would arise, I would instantly let it go so it could float away with all the other thoughts that were unneeded baggage in that moment. While I remember there was pain, I didn't experience it as painful. I was almost an observer--I remember thinking, “Wow, now that is an interesting sensation!” and then I would relax even deeper.

My body and baby Ray surprise my midwife

At last, my body was overwhelmed by a desire to push, so I did. I stayed on my side, even though I'd never heard of giving birth in that position. I later learned it is a wonderful option, because it allows the pelvis to make a lot of room. I didn't stop to think about pushing or my position--my job the whole way through had been to get my head out of my body's way and let it do its thing. Because I was listening only when I needed to be instructed (one of the many affirmations on my tape that guided my experience), I didn't hear my midwife tell my husband she didn't actually think I was ready yet to push. She turned her head away to do something, and then back only to find a beautiful little head was crowning! My body knew more than my midwife that time.

It seemed like only three or four more pushes, and my baby Ray was born--he had bright red hair and big, dark eyes. His face was startled me by being so alert, yet calm; he had a peaceful look like that of a monk. My midwife put him on my chest immediately, and he surprised my husband and me as he lifted his wobbly head to take a look around. He looked at me, then turned to follow my husband's voice and find his face. Time seemed to stop, as we took our first deep gazes into each others eyes. Then he quickly latched on to what he was looking for and began to nurse with gusto. My husband's head practically bumped the ceiling, and his smile went wall to wall. I had tears flowing down my cheeks. We were in baby love.

The joy that filled my heart seemed to fill the room, too. I looked up and saw a spiritual “family” sitting in the air above our bed, smiling down on us. It was as though they had helped usher Ray here, and for a brief moment, I was given the gift of sight. The next woman who walked in was a nurse, and I could see beautiful colors of green and blue around her, which I imagined must be her aura. I was in this blissful altered state for several days, and I treasure those moments still.

My labor was only 5 hours from when the water broke to when Ray entered the world at 4am on Thanksgiving Day! I know that my birth was so fast and smooth, because I was so deeply relaxed and so able to practice “letting go” of any tensions, worries, or distracting thoughts. My focus was completely internal, and I had no concept of time. My husband trusted the process and was a solid supporter throughout the event. These were all suggestions that we had been given during our sessions. Somehow my sub-conscious mind had absorbed and accepted all of these ideas, and they governed and guided my whole birth experience.

In 1999, I also had another baby boy using the same natural childbirth methods.

Sharing Hypnotherapy and HypoBirthing® with Grays Harbor